Lewis@theTherapist (parody)

T: Aw Lewis what a surprise. Simon or Martin sent you?

L: Does it matter!

T: No, so a rainy Silverstone. However let’s reflect on the last 3 races ok?

L: Monaco was a joke, an absolute frickin’ joke. Canada was obviously not good for either driver, we’ve looked at it and think it’s a racing incident. Then in Valencia I finished. We made some positive pit-stop improvements there.

T: Yeah let’s talk about Monaco real quick. You messed up!

L: All the tension just boiled up. I had some time to reflect and I feel it was just a bad weekend in the office. I apologized, I think it was the right thing for me to do and to be able to put everything behind me. I just try ….”

T: Lewis, i’m talking about you messing up Ali G’s Line! It’s ‘Is it cos I is black?’, NOT ‘maybe because I’m black’. That’s not what Ali G says! Quote him right man. (Lewis trying to interrupt) Nah hold up. I feel for ya.

L: What?? You a therapist or am I on candid camera?

T: Nah Lewis. Listen i love, The Lovely Lee, but she could have helped you out with one line:

‘Is you on crack or somethin'?’ That’s what Ali G would have asked.

L: You a fool man, bloody fool.

T: Ok, in all seriousness it was a badly timed joke and really brought out the doo doo trucks. Just learn from it. Don’t lose personality and lose lame lines like

“All of the negatives I’ve had, I’ve turned them into positives,”

Puke man puke puke puke!

(Lewis just staring with surprise)

T: So I heard Valencia was just a blip, and now after day one it’s still unclear what sort of effect the new rules have.

L: Yeah, we should be able to get a better read on how the new interpretations of the regulations will affect us from tomorrow……..

T: OK, i'm tired session over (another surprised look from Lewis). Here’s my advise:

You are one of the few real racers with the balls we saw back in the 80s. Only thing is, it’s impossible to have a car that is able to win the title every year. This can lead to overenthusiastic behavior and overdriving of the car, which will lead to tears more often then not. So key points to remember are: 1) a season is long, 2) the balance between teams can shift, 3) you always need to combine speed with brainpower, 4) It’s impossible to challenge for the title every year.

In 5 years time you’ve won 1 World Driver Championship (WDC) and challenged 2 times. History tells us that only 8 drivers have won 3 or more WDC titles. Now it’s almost certain you will have 8+ years in this category. If you stay put, you will certainly have enough chances to join the elite group of 3+ WDC titles.

So to quote a wise man going by the name of Captain Jack Sparrow, ‘wait for the opportune moment’. Well moments in your case. Don’t be like a crazy young bull, that gets released for the first time.

Alrighty then after all this ‘wise’ crap lets end with a short vid, comedy is the best preparation: